the orange tree (it was all a dream) / by Laura Lopez

version one:

There was a yellow door and maps for wallpaper

Fresh juice from a backyard orange tree and the tiny bubbles of sweet champagne

All our love songs played on vinyl thru open windows and our hearts were filled with hope.

We sat under the sun, under the same sky and we drank morning mimosas out of glasses we stole from a hotel in Chicago.

We were together in the warmest yellow light. We were somewhere I never had to miss the sun. There were no goodbyes…just goodnights.

That’s what dreams are made of.

version two:

“you deserve the yellow door and the orange tree”

that's what you told me when you left.

I told you how you brought me the sun and even though it wasn’t mine to keep

I wanted the warmth, your light

(at least for a little while longer)

My hopeful heart made me want to buy a one way ticket and wake up under a sky that looked the same

without 1400 miles, 2 hours, and all the time in between.

This session. My heart was broken. I had imagined a life with orange trees and yellow doors. It was a life that wasn’t the life… not for him. not for me. I wrote about yellow lights and the sun and his sky and my city. When it was over, there was nowhere else to put it all except here. I called Nikki and sent her things I was writing, all the things I needed to get out of my heart and into the world… to let it all go.

I talk a lot about being trusted by the people that I photograph, how honored and grateful I feel that people allow me in. Nikki reminds me that I am also grateful for the friendship I have experienced with the women I work with. During this whole shoot, in between laughing and talking, Nikki asked me more than once if I was okay. She knew shooting this was a necessary release but it forced me to feel everything. I am grateful and will continue to feel grateful that there are women that allow me to tell their stories but also help me tell my own.